RSCN0444I’ve talked with hundreds of women and men around the world about the topic of boundaries. It’s clear that not only do we lack healthy relationship priorities, but we’re confused and often deeply troubled about what is and isn’t our responsibility in the first place, and we’re responding to the ensuing havoc this confusion causes in sometimes catastrophically unhealthy ways.

In her book No Limits No Boundaries, Pastor Tiz Huch (in photo at left with Allison) doesn’t imply that we don’t need boundaries, but that when we enter into right relationship with God, His love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness have no end.  When we act as children of God we have choices to make, and those choices should revolve around how God wants us to act.  He has established boundaries as written in Scripture, and He has instructed us to live according to them.

Contrary to politically correct opinion, we are not all created equal, especially when it comes to needs.

It’s important to our heavenly father that we guard our hearts and grow in a healthy heart relationship with him. He never intended for us to be responsible for everyone except ourselves. The more time we spend in his presence, asking him to order our steps, the more clarity we will have on our responsibilities.

If we truly want to balance our responsibilities and build healthy relationships we must become emotionally strong and take control of the things we can control. The well-known Serenity Prayer is good to remember at this time.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

It’s God’s plan for how He wants us to live. Taken from the Book of Matthew the meaning is crystal clear;

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.  Matthew 6:34

In other words, take it “one day at a time.”

This problem of being “overly responsible” is becoming an epidemic, we’re not sure anymore what’s really normal, what a boundary is or isn’t, what were actually supposed to be responsible for, or even what it means to live a balanced life. The only way we’re going to be able to sort any of this out is to explore how and when it all started to go haywire in our lives in the first place.

How did our relationships and responsibilities get so off track and our lives become so unmanageable that we turned to food as the answer?

Two words… unhealthy boundaries.


Adapted from Setting Boundaries with Food, Six Steps to Lose Weight, Gain Freedom, and Take Back Your Life by Allison Bottke © 2008. Harvest House Publishers. All rights reserved.

Visit the Setting Boundaries Books website today for more information.