Before I could look at the part I played in the enabling dynamic, I focused on everything except my own emotional, spiritual, psychological, or physical health. It’s never too late to begin new behavior and we can start now. One of the very things we can do to help our loved ones is to help ourselves first. The change that first comes to us will do more to help those around us than our ineffective enabling.
Initially, we need to identify the driving forces in our own lives. Then we need to make a commitment to modify our own behaviors as they pertain to the current situations with our loved ones, but we also need to change our behaviors as they pertain to the other relationships in our lives.
It’s time to find SANITY our lives that replace negatives patterns and behaviors with positives ones. Weary, angry, and resentful can become peaceful, happy, and hopeful.
Excerpt from Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, (c) 2008, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon