Former Addict Sets Boundaries and Changes Life!

Posted by on Apr 17, 2011 in Choices, Faith, Setting Boundaries | 15 comments


Chris and Allison at Ready to Win Conference

Christopher recently joined me at the Thelma Wells – Ready to Win Conference at Harvest Church in Fort Worth, Texas. He was in charge of my book table and was every bit the professional as he handled sales and greeted attendees. As the second speaker of the day, I had the opportunity to introduce Chris to the 1,000 + attendees…many knew of him from my book, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, but very few had met him. Countless women approached him after my talk to encourage and hug him, saying things like, “Your mom’s book changed my life, I’m so glad you are doing better!,” and “You give me hope that my son might turn his life around,” and “Keep up the good work, God is using you!” It will be one year on May 1 that Chris was released from prison in MN and moved to Texas. It’s been a rough journey, but God is good and His mercy endures forever! I’m so proud of how far Chris has come! Hang in there, moms and dads, SANITY is possible!

15 Responses to “Former Addict Sets Boundaries and Changes Life!”

  1. marianne brown says:

    Hi Allison,

    Today is my birthday as well as Mother’s day and I just finished reading Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children. It is through tears that I write to thank you for your honesty and realistic approaches you offer in your book. I know I need SANITY in my life now, and seeing you with your son gives me hope for my son as well . My God continue to bless you and Chris as you have blessed so many others. I pray for the strength and guidance as I begin my new journey with my son.



  2. Suezette says:

    Hi Allison

    I read your book in 2010. But still making the same mistakes with my son . Giving him money .!! Why can I learn that that will not help him . My started using drug at school- tik ; dagga!He is now 23 year old. He was arrested for being inpossition of tik when he was 21. I had to pay the fine. He was not working . I forced him to go to rehab. But that did not work. I am staying 100km from He stays in Cape Town ; I stay in Caledon South Africa. Currently he moved back to my parents. After they have already put him out in Agust last year, because he became more and more agressive when they confronted him about his addiction. Things are jsut spiraling out of controle at the moment. He left his job. and is claiming to be depressed and does not want ot work because i am not with him . He has alot of issues he need to deal with since his father and I devorced 4 years ago.HOw do i convince him that he needs theropy and rehab. He refuse to go. But i keep faith that he will com sto realise that he needs help to deal with his is addiction. Nowing that there is a living God andfhe has a purpose for aeverthing inyour life. Thank you for your book Setting Boundaries…This bring some sanity in my life. Were series would like to get it for my parents

  3. i just you and your son Chris together. I noticed the tatoos on his arm. There is a young man in my church who has them on both arms. He is preparing to go into ministry to become a preacher. In fact the church which i attend ordained him last Sunday(6/19/20110). God has something for Chris to do.

  4. t I write to thank you for your honesty and realistic approaches you offer in your book. I know I need SANITY in my life now, and seeing you with your son gives me hope for my son as well .

  5. There is always a time and place of changing the rotation of life. I agree that may God is using your knowledge of work.

  6. I like this thought that “SANITY is possible”. Yeah, it is needed SANITY in my life now.

  7. Your book on adult children was liberating. I read it a year ago.You have given me permission to move on in my life of freedom instead of being a codependant parent in guilt, depression, anxiety. I’m sure your book had something to do with my daughter leaving her life of prostitution,and drugs and accepting help in a Christian Based recovery program. PTL

  8. Allison, I ready your book last year. I also purchased it for a friend. I go through my highlights in your book often to refresh myself. My husband and I have been doing everything “right” as per your book. The main reason for me looking up your website today, was to hear about your son, and whether anything had changed. It brought tears to my eyes to see him standing by your side in the picture on your website. I know there is HOPE. My son has recently been discharged from Rehab No. 5 as non-compliant. He was in jail, and they gave him a chance at rehab. We didn’t bail him out and previous to that, he had been voted out of an Oxford House in NJ. We didn’t let him come home, and it was very painful. He was kicked out of Rehab No. 5 on the day he was supposed to be transferred to another facility that allowed smoking. Ironically enough, the facility he was kicked out from for not following the rules, kicked him out because he was either outside when he wasn’t supposed to be, or out on a cigarette run. Can you please pray for us? My son’s name is Eric and he is 22 years old.

  9. I forgot to mention. It has been a week now and we have not heard from or seen my son, Eric. As far as I know, the police are looking for him and have warrants out for his arrest. Last year my son was in detox in the hospital for Christmas. My son wants to stop using, but this demon has a hold on him that he cannot control. He was willing and wanted to go to the other rehab, but the rehab where he was at decided to give him consequences after he was told he was breaking the rules and had been “contracted”. Please pray for Eric. God Bless you!

  10. Your book was recommended to me by my counselor who is a former drug addict who Christ marvelously changed. Your advice is so helpful to me, but I wish there were some way my husband would agree with what it says, too. I have no support whatsoever from him in this. My life is a disaster now. My 22 year old son has abused almost every drug he can. This last summer he use “bath salts” and was arrested 3 times while doing so. Once by me…to save his life and those around him. He as been in and out of 4 rehabs. I am exhausted and heart sick. I am also afraid all the time. My other children are nothing like him at all and do not deserve this type of “home” life where we can no longer have anyone over. My husband refuses to listen to anyone’s advice though. Please pray for my family that we will find that SANITY you talk about in your book. And thank you so much for sharing your story with all of us. God bless you and your son!

  11. We’ve just launched a new SANITY Support blog at the new Setting Boundaries Books website, please post your comments on the new site at

  12. I’d like to sign up.

  13. Susan Glenn Sheby says:

    I am an adult addict ! In my own life I struggle to identify, set, and hold healthy boundries. I am on a quest to leave those things in my past and be the person God has always intended me to be! In fact God is so good he waits patiently for me to find my way! SANITY is only one of the gifts of putting my ‘life’ in order, I

  14. Your book “Setting Boundaries for Your Adult Children” has been an absolute lifesaver to me and my family. Our son is 19 and still on the destructive path of abusing drugs/alcohol. We have held firm to our boundaries and have followed through with making him leave our home twice in the past year. We don’t give him any money or enable him in any way. We continue to pray for him and let him know we love him. I have recommended your book to multiple people as God has brought many people in our lives who are going through the same issues. I finally ordered 10 of the books to have on hand when I come across someone new who needs help. God is definitely using our past pain and struggles to encourage others. Thank you for all you do!

  15. Mona Gastelo says:

    I’m so thankful for Allison’s book “Setting Boundaries.” It has been a very painful read and it’s as if someone has been watching my son, me and our family and taking notes and then putting them in your book. It’s been a sheer nightmare the last 7 years, but as I read the book and start to apply the principles of SANITY I am feeling some peace and hope. I know I’ll need to read the book over again, but as my good friend always reminds me, “progress not perfection.”
    My prayers are with all parents, grand parents, siblings, friends and loved ones of those who struggle with addiction AND mental illness. I hope that when I reach some measure of healing, I’ll be able to serve others in one way or another. God help us all–we love you and worship you! Take care of our children! You are in control God. Amen

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